genius.

People are way too ready to call someone a genius nowadays.

I'm reserving that label for the person who invents a side-mirror where objects are the exact distance they appear.

here's the truth (remix):

I would NEVER do what you've done to me.

Mean-spirited and mean-hearted?

Look in the mirror, darling.

here's the truth:

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend;
I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations.
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection--

The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.

--bright eyes, "lua"

check it--

goddamnit.

An introduction to the Oxford comma--

To top that off, I'll share with you my favorite punctuation joke of all time:

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

If you're not laughing out loud right now, you obviously didn't have Sr. O'Dea for high school English.

(PS: Read Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. You won't regret it.)

(PPS: Listen to "Oxford Comma" by Vampire Weekend. It's not AMAZING, but it is enjoyable.)

Getting old:

Instead of trying to text friends without the teacher knowing, you're texting your friends knowing they have classes of highschoolers to teach.

thought for the day:

I think backward should be spelled "drawrof."

a note for the USPS:

Revenue problem, USPS? Have you considered mail trucks that are also ice cream trucks?

You're welcome.

intelligence.

kindergarten color theory

This is the start of my color walk project.

Old maps, tinfoils, felt fabric, and pipe cleaners + a little watercolor & acrylic...

as I said, welcome to kindergarten color theory.

Yes, it's equally as bad in real life as it looks in this picture.

You're welcome.

Happy Labor Day

Today I saw the book, "Being Vegetarian For Dummies."

Spoiler alert!: You don't eat meat.

Also:

I can't watch, is it over yet?

weird things I know as fact:

On Leonardo DiCaprio's grave, he wants it to say:

I ALWAYS BOUGHT DINNER.

No joke.

question of the day:

Why do we just assume that dinosaurs roared?

Things that I learned during my first day back in school:

#1: I'm apparently attracted to phallic yellow-green vegetables. (My advanced color theory seminar went on a field trip to the Asian grocery store. I pleaded my case by explaining that while the store was predominately hot pink signs and red decorations, while pink is technically a tone of red, and green is the compliment of red- I really had the right idea.

#2: Stating that your imaginary friends are in the car with you, therefore making you eligible for up-front carpool parking spaces only makes you look crazier than you already are.

#3: I don't know left from right.

All in all, a productive day.

questions of the day:

Firstly, are clams really happy?

(via Sticky Comics)

And secondly, WHO gets to name hurricanes?!

...because I SO want that job.

(via Cartoon Stock)

I mean, you have to admit that it's very likely people would pay more attention to a hurricane named "Windfuck 3000" or "SNOOKI" instead of some nice generic name- i.e. "Irene."

Think about it.

thought for the day:

I think it's funny when people accuse me of having double standards... when I'm pretty sure I never had any to begin with.

LESSON LEARNED

Backflips & gainers into the lake from 20', paddleboardin', wakeboardin', wakesurfin', horse ridin', AND hikin'/backpackin'/campin' on the Olympic peninsula. What do these things have in common? They're all fun summer activities. My FAVORITE summer activities.

What do they also have in common? They shouldn't be done with broken ribs.

Lesson learned.

In other news, whoever invented bones should have made them unbreakable. I mean, REALLY.

In other other news, I have 8 days of summer left. Spending that time with ice strapped to me while in pain sounds like a not-very-fun way to spend it. I broke my ribs in early JULY. It's the MIDDLE OF AUGUST. If they can't be unbreakable, why can't they just heal faster? Rude.

mathematics.

The volume of the noise made by a person's footsteps on a floor with a hard surface is directly proportional to how important they think they are, but inversely proportional to how important they actually are.

You know you're a nerd when...

So one of my best-friends-turned-roomate (hi JAY!) and I like to play this little game called "You know you're a nerd when (...)". Basically, the rules are: every time one of us does/says something nerdy, the other says, "You know you're a nerd when!" and we add the nerdy action/phrase/etc to the list.

Pretty stupid, but also incredibly entertaining.

Today's edition:

You know you're a nerd when you spend all night watching documentaries.

(And can't stop talking about them.)

If you're a nerd like we are, you'll seriously enjoy the following website:

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/

You're welcome.